I sat with my feelings for more than I want to
admit………..contemplating, analyzing and investigating until I became sick. In the past, I cried, prayed, danced, sang,
meditated, revisited and even sought counsel to obtain a better innerstanding
of what I was feeling, why I was feeling and how my feelings could be used to
grow. Found out where they came from and
how to work with them to facilitate a deeper healing within me. Found ways to
work through my challenges, made great strides, learned about myself, acquired
tools of empowerment and continued to face challenge after challenge that showed
my strength and how much I have grown.
I sat with my feelings for more time than I want to admit. My feelings and emotions always tell me the
truth……..if I am in alignment with my heart and soul, if I am walking my path,
if I need to change my direction. I
learned from my feelings, my challenges and my journey to be me, without
exception, without regret…….to use both my heart and mind to play this game of
life with love, gratitude, wonder, excitement and innocence.
I sat with my intuition for longer than you could imagine,
lol……….open to the subtle energies, signs and synchronicities telling me that
what I was feeling, sensing and seeing was true. Finally, I got to the point where I no longer
need confirmation from outside sources to validate that which my intuition told
me.
I sat with my intuition for longer than I have known…patiently
waiting for things to be revealed in their own Divine Time (no, I am not
referring to TFs)…..as I continue to move forward and leave the past
behind. Things I have said were swept
under the rug, I knew all along, I knew for so long, that one day someone close
to you would sing the same song. When
coming from me, it was taken lightly, and over time you must have forgotten, in
spite of my plea.
I sat with my thoughts for longer than usual……….imagining
and dreaming could I be delusional? I
wondered when and if you would ever see….the things, the signs my intuition
told me (sidebar: I always shared with you what my intuition was telling me
through my feelings, dreams, visions, how I connect the dots, etc.) Why when I shared the things I knew……you looked
at me like they could not be true? The
urgent, insistent messages I shared, were said with great force, you must have
been scared. Which makes so much
sense……. it was so clear, the reason you distanced yourself from me last year.
I sat with my knowing for longer than some……….my guides told
me long before the time would come.
Through conversations, songs and dreams I would see……….that you would
slowly forget about me. My special day
came and my knowing was clear………no call, no text, no “Happy Earth Day, I wish
you a great year!
I sat in contemplation with All and myself…………a loud noise
broke the silence when something fell off my shelf. My heart shattered into many pieces, “Not
this again” was my thought. Your casual disregard
left me feeling naught. The cycle
continues and I am aware…….of the roles we both play and this time I have no
fear.
I sat with my knowing whispering in my ear…………gentle words
of encouragement, so loving and clear.
As I remained open, receptive and true, it suddenly became clear what I
needed to do. As I picked up the pieces and
cared for each one, I heard the sweet message, “A new phase has begun”. Painful and arduous is my task at hand…….Devastated
and distraught but I innerstand.
I sit and see……the things that my feelings, intuition,
thoughts, knowing and contemplation have been telling me. While I did the work, you were remiss and at
play, playing the game of your choice, I tuned in every day. Recording my findings, the messages are clear,
you don't taking time out to energetically send or hear. Focused and driven is what you should be, my mirror, my soul, looking back at me.
I sit with my broken pieces and hear what they say…… “You
can do this L, We know it hurts but don’t delay”. “The time is right to say how you feel, It’s
ok, it’s alright, he won’t think it’s a big deal”. Lo and behold, my broken pieces were true,
when I told you how I felt, it flew right by you. Did you read what I wrote? Did the message go through? Did you just ignore what I wrote to you?
I sit in confusion………thought we agreed to work……your lack of
response cuts me like a dirk. “Don’t
worry, stay strong”, my broken pieces say…..”He will get the message in a couple
of days”. “Put me back together, you
have things to do…….don’t let his distractions upset you”.
I sit with my seeing and I want to cry……..My emotions run
deep and I can’t tell a lie. Choices,
decisions, daredevil style……….secrets, lies, stored in our Akashic file. I wish things were blurry, making it hard for
me to see……that other things are a priority and come way before me.
I sit with my journal of messages received and I’m not
surprised what they reveal to me.
Dreams, visions and feelings so deep, this energy is so strong and real,
it often woke me from sleep. The story
unfolds as my dream comes true……in the messages your sister got while on
mushrooms!
I sit with I Am and accept what is “real”…….in this
illusion, this game, I am just telling you how I feel. Shaking my head as I read your texts, I’m
sure you remember, nope, no I digress. A
gentle reminder of what I once said, could not wrap the thought around in your
head. Three years ago, I shared with you
a particular read, that said we both are indeed StarSeeds. Did you believe, what I said to be true?, or
did you perceive it when your sister told you?
I sit with myself forever and a day……..trying to figure out, how to express on words what I need to say. Take a minute
to be still, open up and it will be clear, maybe now is the time you are ready
to hear. The messages you received, I
already knew, I told you a while ago, but they flew by you.
I sit with my knowing that the time will soon come….when you
stop running, you surrender, you succumb.
You are ever so close, but unable to see………clouded by denial and
avoidance of things involving me. Ever
so often you see through the clouds, you get it, you lose it, where are you right now?
I sit and am patient, but want you to know. I am still doing the work, tuning in, being
receptive, working daily with Tarot. Feel
what I am writing, see what I say……I feel neglected as you go
astray.
I sit with the knowing, that comes from deep within. You will soon truly innerstand, open up and
let me in. Right now I feel so invisible,
ignored and pushed away. I had to tell
you how I feel, I could not hold this in another day.
