Terrance.......

BFF, today was so very wonderful.......today I finally got to wear my spray painted jeans.......today I was finally the walking bill board for the record label.....yes......it is so much fun to be part of a team.........

The day started with a boom............I got off to a great start......I know I have not said much about my morning routines.....that is because I have been doing them.........lolol...............and I feel energized.........this morning was no different, well, it was different, I got a chance to watch Maury...I love his shows...........

I had to meet up with Key before the show so that the team could meet at the studio before we went to the show..............being that I was going to be on my feet and in public all day, I wanted to make sure that I represented the artist and the label properly, so I dressed the part.......I put on my painted jeans, a red shirt and red sexy sandals and made my way to Key's house..........

Ohh when I got there BFF, I was so happy and excited........finally I would get a chance to see the artist in action and have fun networking.............that is exactly what I did........

Before we even got to the venue for the show, Key's and I were frustrated.........working with so many different personalities can be challenging, not to mention working on black folks time..........shit can get kind of hectic.......that is exactly what happened, lol.

When we finally got it all together, we realized that we might not have enough cars to drive everyone to the venue........great just great BFF.........I left my car at Key's house........fuck me..............

We had to squeeze into Key's car, but tell me, why did I have to be the one to sit on Terrance's lap............BFF, I know you don't know who JR is, so let me take you back............

Terrance, Terrance, Terrance.............I met Terrance a few months ago at the studio............this was around the time when a young man wrote a song about men hitting on his mother.....the song went viral and the boy became an instant celebrity.............I remember Terrance because he was in the studio talking about how he was associated with this boy and all of the other projects he was working on.....Key introduced us to each other but I did not really pay attention.........

It just so happened that at that time, I just started looking for interns for Key and the studio..............Key referred me to Terrance, Terrance contacted me and I started looking for interns for some of his projects also........now BFF you have to remember, at this point I did not remember meeting Terrance at the studio

So, Terrance and I are communicating via email with regards to the interns and his projects.......since I did not remember meeting him and this is business, I would call him "Sir" to keep it professional.  Not to mention, being that I did not remember him, I did not know who he really was in the industry, it is always better to give more than less, right?  lol

About 2 months into looking for interns and the like, the artist had a photo shoot........if Key (and if it is in my power to be there) is there, I am there too........and I was.........when Key is working, I am more like her back up assistant......I try to keep an intern or two with her at all times to make both of our lives easier.........

At the beginning of the photo shoot for the artist, not too many people from the team were present....now that I think about it, the photo shoot is not a party, it is work......it was a good thing also, I could tell that the artist was in his zone taking pics and posing......nice...real nice work..........

It was getting late and it appeared that the shot would be ending shortly, just as I was thinking that, more team members rolled in...........all of these faces that I don't recall.........all of these hugs and kisses from people I don't remember meeting......well, this is about networking and such........so I went along with it..........

BFF, it was nothing but niggas, niggas, niggas.....and a few women, lolol.....you could tell who were groupies and who weren't..........

All of a sudden this odd looking character come out of no place........carrying a camera........a reading light on his vest and making a lot of noise........almost as if he wanted everyone present to know of his existence........lolol 

I must admit, I silently chuckled to myself as I watched him play fool, cracking jokes, telling stories and making people laugh...........

I did not want to bring any attention to me, as I sat in the back........I had to find out who he is, but I did not want to ask as if I was interested in him......So, I asked Key who this character is.............she told me that the character in question is Terrance..........

What, the same Terrance I have been emailing back and forth regarding interns for his projects, the same Terrance I have been calling "Sir" when he is acting like a straight up ass?  WOW!

Key could not stop laughing........I did not think it was funny at all......I just wanted to go home at this point.......Not because of Terrance but because it was late and I had enough...............

I walked down 5 flights of stairs in order to get to freedom......to get to my damn car......I could not get out of there fast enough......don't get me wrong......I love working with the team, but it was a long and tiring day, it was time for me to go home............

Finally got to the car.....thank you fadda!............sped off towards home.......I got a phone call from Key, asking me to come back to drop some music off to someone in Queens.........cool, no problem.....BFF, of course I turned around............

If I would have known that I was turning around to drive someone home, I would have lied and said I was already at the damn highway......shit.......I really just wanted to have some alone time and take the drive by myself to reflect on the events of the day........damn!

I got back to the shoot location and Key came out to chat with me for a few minutes.............I know she failed to tell me that Terrance would be the person I would be driving home as a favor.....hmmmmm...she knows me all too well.....

So, BFF, Terrance and I got in the car to go back to queens and we started talking........talking about everything and nothing..........I really enjoyed talking to Terrance............we finally made it back to queens and before we knew it, it was after 12 in the morning........wow how times flies when you are really enjoying yourself.

BFF, I started feeling a little uncomfortable at one point, Terrance and I went through the formalities........I told him I did not realize I met him a while ago and all of the time I was sending him emails I had no idea of who he was, lolol...we laughed about that and a few other things.......but as I said, I started to feel uncomfortable.........the conversation swayed to his relationship.....what was going on in it.......how he was feeling..........I am not sure.........not sure what is really going on.....I have been told that I make people feel comfortable......but some of the things that were being said were stuff that close friends share......hmmmm anyway......

BFF, we sat in my car and talked so long, before you knew it, his girlfriend came from around the corner and walked right into his house.......wait, wait a minute.....he just told me that he feels like he needs some space from his girlfriend and she was probably in his house, in his room, in his bed waiting for him..........

BFF, we were sitting in my car, talking.........all of a sudden as he is telling me about his relationship, here she comes around the corner...in real life.........let me tell you how the energy in the car completely changed, the look on his face went from happy to being hit with a ton of bricks.......everything that he thought she was doing that night, that morning was not true.........she was supposed to be in his bed, but she was actually out with Paul drinking, lolol.

I don't mean to laugh, but life is funny.......and this proved to be at the top of the "life is funny list"......BFF, when he turned around and looked at me as she was ascending the stairs to his house, I could see his hand.....I could see and feel the confusion growing in him...he could not decide on whether to roll down the window and say something to her or just let her go and collect himself....I know he was in shock cause I was too....I felt like I had just been cheated on and I don't even have a boyfriend or significant other, lolol....

So, yeah BFF, I looked at him and I could tell that he was devastated....completely crushed....if felt like I witnessed her cheating on him, like I felt everything he felt.......I did not want no parts of this shit no more......he thought she was in the house....she thought he was in the house......I don't wanna be involved.......

The silence that followed was excruciating......I had to break the ice, I had to do something cause it was starting to go from bad to worse, I thought he was going to cry.......I was going to cry and nothing was happening to me, lolol.

I did something that I have never done before....something that I should not have done........BFF, I took his hand and took his energy from him.....now please, don't shake your head....don't think that I am crazy because I am not......I am a conduit.....I am able to feel others emotions, sense their thoughts, sense what is going to happen before it does..........I should have kept my hands to myself............should have never taken his energy.........

As soon as I took his and in mine and closed my eyes, my arm started to throb and my head started to hurt.......I opened my eyes and asked him how he felt.....he told me that his head ache was gone and he felt calmer, but the look in his eyes was no longer sad, it was more like he was intrigued.......like he was curious about me..........

I did not like that look in his eyes at all.....it was kind of creepy.....made me feel really strange........from that point on, Terrance and I spoke damn near every single day.....it went from business talk to I love you talk........yes BFF, I thought it was cute.....real cute to be getting attention from someone, but the attention Terrance was giving me gave me the creeps..........

He started calling and texting at all hours of the night........BFF, I humored that shit, but it started to wear at me.......I stressed that we should not communicate unless it was business.....it was really getting out of hand.....

I heard from Key that he was talking about me, saying that we would be together.....all kinds of untrue shit.......see what was me befriending someone was actually me leading them on.....I had no idea of what role I played in this until Key pointed it out to me....I had no idea that I was just a conquest for Terrance...........

Anyway, we stopped communicating as much..............the interns search did not work out........I found out the true intentions.......I backed off..............

So, after that whole play and production.....after time passed.......Terrance and I saw each other at the photo shoot and then yesterday at the show..............

I tried to stay away from Terrance but being that I was the walking billboard for the record company, Terrance always found a way to be around me and take picture of me and my ass..........Yes, BFF, I had the record label's logo painted to my ass and everywhere I went, there was Terrance on my ass.......

It was so bad, I noticed it....at one point during the day, I was sitting down, away from everyone, away from the crowd and all of a sudden Terrance comes to me and tells me it is time for me to take pics with the team.....lawd.....BFF, it was a fucking zoo......niggas all over the place wanting to take pics of my ass........ok, I knew that the pants would draw attention, but not that kind of attention....it went from taking pics of my ass to wanting to take pics of my tongue rings........THIS SHOW IS NOT MY SHOW!

Ok, when is this gonna be over?  When can I go the fuck home?  I don't think I am fit to be around people all day......I may put on the front like I am a people person, but I need time alone, I need to be away from everyone's energy...........

BFF, I wanted to go home so badly, I hate the camera, I am so fucking camera shy and all damn day, every time I turned around, there goes the fucking camera in Terrance's hand and in my damn face or ass, lol.........

We finally got back to the studio and it was blazin....too many black folks in one small spot...........I had to go downstairs and get some air.............who do I see, of course Terrance.........he was doing his thang, making people laugh......................

Time never seemed to end........the team was supposed to go to a party............organizing black folks is hard......Key was getting pissed......I just wanted to go home and the team members did not know what they wanted to do.........

Key got everyone together to go to the party..............once again, not enough cars so Key drove me to get my car............

Ok BFF, I just knew that every single car was going to be packed.......when I got my car and drove back to the studio............the only person who go in my car was.......you got it......TERRANCE.........

Are you fucking kidding me........why?  What is really going on?

Listen, I don't think Terrance is a bad person......I just don't want to be part of the man game that I think he is playing........the game where he tells his boys about our conversations and plays them like he and I are an item...............

Oh My Goodness, BFF, 3 car loads of people and my car with just two people drove to the Williamsburg bridge in an attempt to make an appearance at the party..........the universe is always in control....your thoughts become things........ALWAYS..........construction on the bridge caused major traffic and we decided to turn around..........I decided to drive home, lolol, well, Terrance and I drove back to Queens happy......................

Please to tell you, BFF, we did not have a long conversation in my parked car cause I wanted to indulge (wink)............I am off tomorrow so I don't have to sleep tonight.............I dropped Terrance off and was on my way..................tomorrow is another day!!!!!!!!!!