BFF, something wonderful came over me today......it was such a blessed thing........if I could only bottle this feeling.........if only........I could figure out how to keep this feeling......Oh BFF......it was so amazing..........
Until it was time for me to get ready to end my work day........the feeling slowly started to leave me........and in its place............slowly sneaking...........crawling...........inching............infecting me......this feeling BFF you see........I am starting to think it is a part of me.................
BFF..........I struggle every second............do I make it seem like it does not happen......like this feeling I never get?............I can't even think straight.......having a hard time expressing what I feel...........
Give me some time to try to work this out........get this out............out of my system so that I can be..........who I am supposed to be.............
Why do I feel like this........a black hole of emotions.......What the hell is wrong with me? I know that my thoughts become things....I know that I am in control, but this thing that is taking over me is stronger, you see..........the more I fight it the more it grows in me.......please lawd help me..........this is not how it is supposed to be..................
I fight, I struggle......for what is right in front of me..........I stretch my arm out but never get close enough to snatch it.........for it is too fast.....my weight it too great............although I am naked.........my kingdom is being constantly invaded............just the thought of death.......death of my ego scares me.....for it is who I think I am....but not who is really me............
It controls me......whispering painful nothings in my ear to haunt me.......keeps me in the place it wants me to be........full of pain, hurt, confusion, and misery............this is too much..........please set me free..........
You don't want a battle, don't want me to fight............just please walk away......it will make everything right.....for if I have to retaliate.......it will only be to your demise.....I am not cursing you, for this will be your fate........
Please back away, give me some space......you don't want me to get angry, don't make me change my face....for there is something in me that is greater than me.....something in me that very few see....something so strong and powerful you see.........I have to keep it at bay cause it frightens me............
What you do not know, what I hold in secrecy......is the fact that the Infinite dwells deep in me........I have allowed you to reside within me too long.......my world is not yours, it is not your home........I know you only go after those who are strong......you have been after me since before I was born...........
I ask you again to please just let me be.......you really don't want to get me angry..........cause if I have to fight you it will become messy.........I told you the Infinite is in me, don't test me.......for you will fail and be destroyed........you just keep on pushing me.......you will not win this war, not even if your army took anabolic steroids...................hahaha
