Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Brewing..............

Back at work.....rolling my eyes..........Lesson time kids..........lol.......this is what my fear of success has brought me to. Don't get me wrong, I love my job..it allows me to live the life of a Jones...hmm..I really am a Jones, lol..

But in all seriousness, when I started in my profession......being a legal secretary was so very exciting......the economy was different, work was different, things just seem more vibrant and alive.  13 years later, boy have things changed.......attorneys don't really need secretaries anymore, they need personal assistants........is that a step down? LOL.

Let me not complain about a blessing........I am so very grateful for so many things........and my job is one of them.......

During the day, I kept getting a gnawing feeling that something was brewing........I just have to remind myself to be calm......be observant.....be aware of your feelings and thoughts...........

With a solar eclipse approaching, who knows what lies ahead for me.........ohh the wonders of it all.........all I know is the gnawing feeling is growing.....slowly......with strength........something is brewing...........

Another Day.......

BFF, once again, I failed to tell you that I took the day off of work...........please forgive me..........

Today was another peaceful day.  I still communicate with Mr. Lovel and BigDaddy, lolol.  Nothing has really changed with that..........

Although today Mr. Lovel expressed to me that he wanted to see me possibly this weekend.......he would like to hang out.......ok.......I know what that means........we will see.........

There is something in me that is fearful........something that has prevented me from doing one thing I know I should do.....stopping me from meditating.........

My fear of success is outrageous.........it has stifled me from being a singer, a published writer, a belly dancer who performs.........why do I fear success so much?

I guess that is one of the things I need to work on.....one thing I am working on right now by writing to you.......baby steps right BFF?