Fuck……………I am so fucking confused………..I am so fucking just about everything (no…I am not literally fucking everything……….lol, my emotions, thoughts, feelings, energy, frequency, memories, soul feels like it is all over the place). I would like to think of myself as a person who over the last few years……….has learned from my experiences in such a way that I would not come back to this place………..this fucking void of everything………..but yet full of nothing……..lol………..
Weak…………last week, lol………..Ohh Bff………..it all comes full circle but yet as I sit here at my work desk…..typing this…………..I feel a break in the circle………….Bff…….last week was the most amazing week of my life………the most amazing week I can remember spending while living this life………….I have to fight not thinking about you……not thinking about what we share…….not thinking about how we are connected…………so why do I feel torn apart when you are not near?
Bff………..I did it……….I admit it………AINT SHAMED OF IT…….Dont give a fuck what you think or say………….
I
fought it every single step of the way…….with every breath I took………….couldn’t
you feel it in my words…….didn’t you hear it in my cries? No anger, name calling, blaming, cussin or
fussin could mask the truth………and now I am weak……after last week…………..fuck…..I’m
shook…
Bff……….let
me explain because at this point………..it’s a bit insane..
In
April…………………..you reached out to me……………oooohh shit, I can’t do this…..it’s too
much for me…..Bff……..words are so simple………yet never fully explain…….
In
April Will reached out to me……….I was still angry…….still hurt……maybe because I
wanted to be……….I tried so hard to put up a fight……….Didn’t back down……….didn’t
turn away……..the knot in my tummy twisting and turning tight……….until that
faithful day…..Thought I stood my ground…..chest puffed up in the air……agreed to do a face to face……..sit down for a drink……………..it became harder not to stare ………..with every breath……….it became more difficult to concentrate………..with every blink……my eyelids became heavier…
Was this a dream………you sitting next to me……could I really feel your energy……….please not to close…….it stifles me………..makes me weak……..hard to breath……..
We
talk……. make pleasantries………………but all the while……….it’s been festering……..a
comment………..a glance………a snicker………..a stare………….as our eyes meet…….we are no
longer there……….
Sucked
into your energy…………I can’t fight……..I don’t want to……..you have all of me………we
have not even touched………but we are so deep…………I feel you in me…….don’t wanna
wake up from sleep………..
I
get kinda brave…….wanna share with you……..a secret…..a gift………but I have to
touch you………….and as our skin meet………..I melt into you………….can you feel it? ………feel
me…………..what I feel for you………
My
heart skips a beat……….. temperature begins to rise………I have to look away……….have
to close my eyes………….
As
I concentrate with all my might………….my flesh and soul finally unite
Tighter
and tighter I close my eyes……………feeling for the truth………for the soul never lies….
Feeling
a tingling move all around……..from my feet to my head…….constantly up and down
Naturally
I smile as thoughts of you fade……….slowly opening my eyes………finally getting
focus………and to my surprise…..
From
the look on your face………….the sparkle in your eyes………not one word did we utter…….our
connection did not die……….
Too
soon our meeting is over…………we did not want to leave……our connection is
timeless…….but there is so much more for us to see….
As
we say our goodbyes……….. time stood till…………..I wanted a fix……..just a small little
pill….
Your
lips invite me……….just one little kiss……..our lips finally meet……….explosion of
bliss…………..our tongues do a dance that is not rehearsed……..you hold me closer…….I
lose hold of my purse……….
This
thing that’s between us…….I thought was a lie…….but just as you kissed me………our
souls did not lie………….
What
we share is nameless, boundless and true……………our connection is timeless, but
you already knew….ahahahah…
Ohhh
Danm Bff Will’s kiss……………ahhhhh ohhhhhhhh………….the sweetest kiss EVA……………. HEHE.
I can’t wait for more……………………
