Monday Down.........

I know I said I was going to try to do everything in my power to make the feeling I had yesterday grow........I know it is ultimately up to me how I feel..........I know my thoughts become things and in order to manifest what you want in life, you have to claim it, feel it and live like you have it.......but this morning nothing I did or thought helped me out of my emotional rut........I am starting to think that I suffer from some sort of depression...maybe I am the lady in the depression commercial......

I remember a time nothing seemed to bother me......I would walk down the street and people would ask me, "How can I get some of  your peace?".....I want that back so badly.....I am going to get that back......

Today was so hot, I did not bother to go outside until work was over.  And when work was over, I reluctantly dragged my big ass to belly dance class.  I am so happy I did, it was so much fun...I have to find a way to bellydance once a day....BFF, I am telling you, you have to find something that you love and do it, get obsessed with it, make it yours, I promise, you will find peace and joy!

I have not heard from Sam.  I guess he is upset because I was not available for him when he wanted me to be.  We always go through stupid shit like this... makes me wonder if he knows how to be a real friend.  To be honest with you, I wonder why I even put myself through the shit I do concerning him and other people.  I did not realize until recently that I have a lot of "superficial relationships" in my "meantime" period.  I just have to buckle down, stop being scared and clean house.

I have not heard from any of the guys I told you about now that I think about it.  That just goes to show me that they are "superficial".  Hmmmmmmm.  I can't even say that I am upset about it either.  I prefer to have one special relationship than many empty superficial relationships.......hmmmmmmm

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day, with new blessings and opportunities......today is over......let's look towards the bright future.........

No Longer My Worst Enemy.........

Ok BFF, so, if you did not know, I have been taking private belly dance lessons with my Sunday teacher so that I can feel more confident in hopes to perform soon. 

Sunday's dance classes are so wonderfully therapeutic........haa I love the teacher and how she encourages each of us to bring out who we are and what we feel in the dance........she has been encouraging me to perform, but I just don't feel confident about my skill set.....you know you are your worst enemy............after taking two private lessons, I am no longer my worst enemy.............

I feel my confidence growing and glowing every time I dance........I feel my life changing.....things rearranging..........now that I am working on destroying my fear......yes.......I am afraid of EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

Private lessons not only help me with technique, but they help me with the technique I use to live my life.....they help me to see that I can do anything I put my mind to if I just try.....if I just believe in myself.....anything is possible.

I love starting the week off with belly dance classes on Sunday..........I leave class feeling like I just went to the store and purchased a bottle of "Instant Confidence", lol!!!

Ahhhhhhh, I am going to do everything in my power to make this feeling grow within me for the entire week........let's see how it goes!