I
hated hearing, "It's Me.....it's not you". For years those words have
haunted me. Constantly being repeated in my head.........like a broken record.
Today....it
hit me.....smack....right in my ding dong face. "It's Me", I think to
myself. In all actuality, it is me....it is all my doing.
I
order to get a handle on "my life", I have to take responsibility and
acknowledge the part I play in all of the shit I experience. Now...let's be
serious here....My life is mine....your life if yours...I am ONLY responsible
for me.....interacting with you and others gives me the opportunity to share
and show my love for life and all of its wonderful creations....good and bad
(in my perspective).
I
am not responsible for you or your feelings, what you think or how you
move.....BUT.....I innerstand that I "MAY CONTRIBUTE" to your
perception of reality, whether that perception is good or bad. Now here is the
fun part......Even though I know I am not responsible but do play a part....I
have a decision to make......Should I be kind, loving, fair and honest when dealing
with myself and you or should I just allow my emotions to rule my actions,
thoughts and feelings? This is where most of us get confused. This is why I say
to myself now, "It's Me". Cause no matter what you do or say.....I am
responsible for my life and my happiness............I am responsible for being
kind, loving, fair and honest with myself BEFORE I can be and give those things
to you or anyone else.
YES....IT
IS ME............IT SURE IS...HAHA!
Wow...the
full moon will really bring things to light...hehe
Ok...enough
with the damn metaphoric text, lol. Lemme get straight to the point......
You
(or I) shouldn't be blinded by upsets when they happen in life....we shouldn't
feel discouraged when things don't go the way we want them to. Most of the time
things go the way they are supposed to for the betterment of our higher selves.
We just think we know what is best for us and when it does not happen, when we
do not get what we want... we act like babies......allowing ourselves to get
lost in our emotions and the fact that we did not get our way. Normal human
behavior....but it does not promote growth.......I want to grow in this
lifetime....I want to ascend to higher spiritual grounds.......I want to inner
and overstand why I make the choices I make, I want to learn from my setbacks
and look at things from different perspectives in hopes to get the broader
picture of what is in my best interest....what is in my soul's interest.
Yeah.....It's Me..............
We
are in the energy of the full moon........the Harvest Moon. I love full
moons...They always bring things to light in my life and this full moon is no
different..ahahhaha but it is different in a sense that I am
different............I am no longer a person of "reaction". I am a
person of "observation". I choose to observe myself, my thoughts, my
ego, my feeling, my actions. I watch my life ...........like the movie it
is.........I study myself..........like the Scientist I am........and I NOW
apply all of those past life lessons to help me grow in the
present..............I must say......I feel great.......I am proud of
myself.......and I continue to forgive myself first and others. This full moon
showed no mercy....unveiling feeling that I constantly choose not to address,
blowing away the smoke so I see clearly how others think of me. Let me make
this clear........I could care less what others think of me.......I am not here
to change anyone or change how they think of me, anything or anyone.....BUT it
is important for me to be AWARE and PRESENT of these things so that I can move,
think, feel and act accordingly. With awareness comes choices.......and I move
forward to make the best choice that will promote my soul's growth.
Yes
back to tonight and the full moon...I decided to go to a free yoga class in the
city. I have been eyeing this class for over a year. Earlier this year I
attempted to go but the powers that be put obstacles in my way and I used those
obstacles to prevent myself from attending the yoga class.........This time I
refused to let it happen again. So...I took my merry ass to the free yoga
class...........hoping....praying........confidently knowing that it would be
an experience that would added to my "Positive Push" list.
Now....I
am human........I am not afraid to admit........I do not like
change........Going to this class would be a "change" for me because:
(1) I don't know anyone in the class and (2) although I will be in a class with
others, I will be forced to reflect upon my life during the class, which is
something my soul longs for but my flesh and ego fight with a passion.
Now,
let's look at the definition of "Yoga". According to Wikipedia,
"Yoga is a Sanskrit word which means "union" and is
interpreted as "union with the divine.", "In Vedic
Sanskrit, the more commonly used, literal meaning of the Sanskrit
word yogawhich
is "to add", "to join", "to unite", or "to
attach"".
Wow...that
is deep........I don't know about you......but I have taken and I took the yoga
class tonight just for the purpose of trying to form a union between my mind,
body and soul (the divine). Yesterday was not different..........but it was
different...........different in that I am different........I am aware and
present............I want to learn and grow. More than my mouth and thoughts
saying, "L...we wanna grow", my soul is so desperately starving for
growth. The universe will always give you what you really and truly need,
ALWAYS...yoga class yesterday is another example proving that statement true.
(Sidebar: Many times we miss what we really and truly need because it is not
something that we want....it is something that may make us physically or
emotionally have negative feelings. We don't realize that when things don't
work out the way we planned, it is because there is something better coming our
way, to protect us, to allow us to look at our decisions and path in hopes to
see and correct our errors. But we end up blocking and possibly never getting
our true blessings because of how we view things and because we think we know
what is best.......hahaha silly human, lol.) The universe paved the way for me
to take the yoga class so that I could actively be responsible for and
acknowledge the part I play in My life experience...........enabling me to have
the opportunity to unite my mind, body and soul........with this union, I can make
better choices, behave in a more loving and humble manner, think more kind and
peaceful thoughts and shine brighter when I start to lose sight on path of my
life......
You
see......when I strip all of the drama and color from life............I am left
with one ingredient........ME!!!!
