A Dream.....Is Not A Fantasy.....But Eye Know It Is Reality

BFF, Eye will fill you in as Eye go along.....

 

I am a Kundalini Reiki Grandmaster and was attuned by a beautiful Twin Flame couple February of this year.  The experience was amazing and empowered me in a new modality of healing that is very simple and very powerful. I wanted to share it with everyone.....yup so you know when Eye spoke to Will, aka Beloved, Eye made sure Eye shared my experience, information about reiki and  Eye was mindful to only give him a little bit of information about the couple who attuned me.  Remember BFF, Beloved is not open to the connection we share......

 

He listened, however, he did not show interest in reiki or getting attuned at the time. 

Eye continued my studies in Reiki and became attuned to different forms....Gold, Usui and I even went so far as to purchase an attunement package of 48 different Reiki modalities. 

 

Beloved and Eye continued to communicate, but we no longer saw each other. Eye did not ask why, Eye knew he was going through the motions of realization, ego justification, matrix disintegration and soul exploration.....Eye did not want to actively add to his challenges by behaving fleshy.

During a few of our conversations, he told me that he was feeling pain in his lower extremities.  You better believe Eye offered to send him healing energy in the form of Reiki. I took it a step further and let him know I would send his Reiki every day at a specific time to heal this pain he was feeling.  He welcomed my help and Eye was "on it". My Beloved needed healing and Eye was going to do everything thing in my power to help him. 

 

And help him Eye did......he even told me that he felt better after a couple of days. YES.......BFF, there is nothing more in this life that makes me happy than to know that My Beloved is happy!!!! To add to the chocolate fudge to that "Happy Pie", Eye contributed to his happiness and pain relief....What what....LOL.....shyttttttttt....I am freakin walking on sunshine....

 

Silence fell.....Eye felt him going through even more challenges......Eye started to feel him more, see the things he was seeing as he went through his day, feel what he was feeling in EVERY SINGLE WAY (BFF, Eye feel when he has sex with his s/o......ding dangit.....could you imagine that?). 

Sidebar: Eye would also energetically give him massages when he told me he was sore, Eye would send him love energy, peace energy, you name it.....Eye would send it to him.....not through Reiki but through my heart....and he would feel it.  Eye see your face BFF. Eye know he felt it because he would tell me....(BFF, stop being skeptical.....this is real!)

 

Eye thought Eye was dreaming also, Eye know Eye live in my own fantasy world, but this is really reality!

Alpha Life Celestial Trends October 12 - 18, 2014

 ... New information rolls into the week ...

 The events from October 12th through October 18th, bring new information into the picture.  Information rolls into the day, continuing to gain momentum, creating the need to set goals and action plans for the week.  Mercury retrograding, back in Libra, is reviewing information regarding people, situations, relationships, to connect with and expand partnership goals.

 Thursday Sun connects with Mercury retrograde, which shines the light onto the major issues surrounding this Mercury retrograde.  Sun highlights the communication and information that is key during this time.  Reviewing, revising and reassessing information comes into play.  Typically Sun connecting to Mercury provides a commitment that has been building and connects with signing on the dotted line.  However with Mercury retrograde, the decisions will become a two or three-part process, with the mental decisions being made, but a follow-up time will be required once Mercury turns direct.  The important element with this Sun connection to Mercury on Thursday is that the next day, Friday Mercury connects with Venus, handing the information to Venus to provide solutions.  However, Sun doesn’t connect with Venus until October 25th, the same day that Mercury turns direct.  This creates the need to work toward solutions and bringing in the natural fix for the partnership and relationship issues emerging at this time.

 
This series of aspects becomes important as the information that rolls into Thursday becomes key to the resolutions with partnership and the shifts that are happening.  On Friday as Mercury connects with Venus, information rolls into place that becomes important in the transitions that are happening during this Mercury retrograde.  The Libra elements impact partnerships, relationships and the connectivity of people coordinating efforts in a particular direction.  This connection with people becomes an important component to this Mercury retrograde as by the end of the day, Friday, Jupiter connects with Moon bringing promise into the day from following the creative pursuits and expressions.

 As Mercury continues to roll behind the Sun,  trust and faith are needed to know that situations are working behind the scenes.  Without this, there is a tendency to react to the inability to see situations coming together.  This is also when the strange aspects of Mercury retrograde appear with the dysfunction of electronics, computers, cell phones, traffic patterns and the like.  Double checking communication becomes important during this time as Mercury behind the Sun creates confusion in what we hear and say.  Having trust and faith that situations are coming together goes far to create the calm during this Mercury retrograde phase.

Alpha Life Celestial Trends October 5 - 11, 2014

Alpha Life Celestial Trends October 5 - 11, 2014

 

.. Mercury brings in information, creating the stepping stones on your pathway ...

 

This events from October 5th through October 11th, open a very important week, as Mercury hits 2 Scorpio and begins to shift directions.  Sunday, Mercury is quiet and still, viewing all from this perspective.  Mercury turns and begins to move back to review events and situations that have occurred since September 15th.  Mercury in Scorpio is gathering information about the true inner status; the motives, ethics and values that run the engine compartment of each person.

Tuesday Sun aligns with the changing winds of Uranus, shining the light onto the sense of purpose that is shifting within this Mercury retrograde.  Igniting the desires that were held in April as the goals were seen at that time.  Situations blow on the Uranus winds that shift circumstances.  Tuesday evening, the almost full moon rises to become the Lunar Eclipse on Wednesday.  With 15 Aries/15 Libra bringing in the requirements for recognition and balance, the level of feelings increase to spur you forward into your rightful direction.  Between the recognition brought in during the Lunar Eclipse and the new beginnings of the Solar Eclipse, many situations will emerge to move you along your right path.

Later in the afternoon Mars creates a positive trine with Jupiter.  As Jupiter is expanding the creative directions of connecting purpose and passion, Mars activates the events associated with this process as Jupiter continues to unfold the pathway forward.  Mars at 17 Sagittarius and Jupiter at 17 Leo pull events into place that open many doors.  Setting the pace for situations to occur between the Lunar and Solar Eclipses, the flow begins, moving in the stepping-stones needed at this time.

 

Friday Mercury shifts out of Scorpio and into Libra, which begins the shifting process of people, places and things as the alignment of the inner and outer occurs.  Relationships, partnerships and connections begin to occur that are instrumental for the shifts to take place and the alignments to occur.

Saturday Venus aligns with the changing winds of Uranus, bringing forward the issues of relationships and the connections that will bring solutions.   The connections become a surge of information pulling you along your pathway, during the Mercury retrograde process.   

Alpha Life Celestial Trends - October 2014

Celestial Trends - October 2014

 

October 2014 Overview

 

October is universally an EIGHT* month (in numerology terms), which shifts your thoughts, concepts and beliefs into taking action and being in high gear.   The Solar and Lunar Eclipse in October parallels the Mercury retrograde in Libra and the first few degrees of Scorpio.  The events that begin to unfold in October hover over major issues that need to be reviewed, revised and adjusted.  Mercury in Libra brings balance in relationships and connections; however as Mercury moves into Scorpio, the inner elements of motivation, ethics and values come to the foreground.  Relationships will become like boats, disengaging with those that do not have a strong connection to the dock and instead engage with those that are connected to something solid and secure.  As the true inner elements become visible, then relationships will be pulled one way and then another to help line up with similar energies.  Relationships will go through various shifts and changes to come into the right alignment.

The Mercury retrograde will be a major focus for changes as the Lunar and Solar Eclipse brings in the highlighted focus to look at relationships and bring in the new beginnings that are connected to your sense of self, purpose and passion.  The Full Moon rising on October 7th brings in the focus of 16 Libra/16 Aries. With Uranus aligned with the Moon, shifts and changes in the emotional arena become huge.  Uranus brings in changes on the wind.  The Uranus breeze opens the door to bring in the unexpected connections to your emotional nature.  

 

In addition, Mars become trine (positive) to Jupiter, which opens the very doors that move you in the right direction.  This assures you are moving forward.  October 16th the Sun connects with Mercury, which brings in information about your partnership elements and brings in the decisions that are moving you forward.  The next day Mercury connects with Venus, opening up the solutions that spur your new directions forward.  You may feel your life is turned upside down, but it is to shake out the old concepts that are not aligned with the right elements.

The Solar Eclipse/New Moon on October 23rd has major aspects happening all day long, shifting situations into a completely different direction.  Saturday Sun connects with Venus at 2 Scorpio, bringing in the solutions and fixes to make the adjustments needed.  The next day, Mars enters Capricorn, which prompts these fixes to be put into contracts, pacts, treaties and agreements that are the result of career, business, government and financial arrangements.

As Mercury turns direct on the 25th, the countdown begins before the new information is put into the pony express satchel and it is out at the midnight run to get the information into the early morning hours on the 26th.  As the new information hits the doorstep on Sunday morning, new goals and aspirations are set in place to begin a powerful integration process beginning on October 28th.

Alpha Life Celestial Trends September 29 - October 4, 2014

Alpha Life Celestial Trends September 29 - October 4, 2014

 ... Mercury shifts focus to see the deeper side of people and relationships ...

This events from September 29th through October 4th, create a new week with setting goals as part of the transition from September into October. Monday Venus brings in positive emphasis on relationships and the common elements of balance within partnerships and cooperative agreements. The goals that are called into place are ones surrounding business and personal relationships and the alignment with common goals and pursuits.

Mid week business opportunities are emphasized as the SEVEN month of September opens to the EIGHT month of October. EIGHT rules business, contracts and agreements. EIGHT also creates a quicker pace with a specific purpose. Accomplishments and emphasis on financial strength becomes the cornerstones of the month. Alignment with those of the same purpose find the alignment that pulls people toward those who share this same focus.

On Thursday, Mercury hits 2 Scorpio and hovers to bring a deeper perspective of people, relationships and partnerships into view. Mercury turns retrograde on Saturday at 2 Scorpio. With Mercury’s focus on the deeper elements of motives, ethics and values, new information will begin to be collected from various situations and events. Mercury begins to review many of the situations that have occurred since the 15th of September, that carry a message that provides additional information. From this deeper perspective information becomes available for those that have the awareness to see and understand the deeper meaning.

Alpha Life Celestial Trends September 21 - 27, 2014

Alpha Life Celestial Trends September 21 - 27, 2014

 

September 21st through September 27th

Monday Pluto slows and turns direct at 11 Capricorn, prompting business and political resolutions.  Pluto brings power issues forward that are either empowering or controlling others.  Pluto turning direct will begin to unfold the new changes and transitions that are prompting changes within many realms of business, industry, government and career.  Sun moves into Libra as well, signaling the Autumn Equinox, shifting to the last quarter of the year.  Sun shines the light onto the Libra elements of harmony, partnership, relationships and diplomatic connections.  With Sun & Mercury in Libra, focus toward balance is pushing hard.  Opening a door to regain the balance that was pursued as Mars ventured into Libra for the first seven months of this year.  However, opening the door seems to indicate empty efforts.  However, it is at this time that you will begin to see and hear of the efforts during this time in which your efforts brought in the rewards that were earned.  the new Moon on the 24 brings Sun and Moon to the exact connection at 1 Libra.  With a New Moon, major connections come in that bring in opportunities with Libra energies providing the balance.  Friday Mercury connects with Moon opening the floodgates of information that is pertinent to the situations emerging.  Saturday finds Mercury shifting out of Libra and into Scorpio.  The information that is now aligning with the inner depth and qualities of each person is coming up short within the ability to find the inner connectivity points, which create the Mercury retrograde theme; to go hunting for the qualities that need to be lined up with the efforts and events from the first seven months of the year.    

Alpha Life Celestial Trends September 14 - 20, 2014

  September 14th through September 20th

 

Mercury reaches the important point of 16 Libra on Monday, September 15.  This point becomes the same point reached on October 25 when Mercury turns direct at 16 Libra.  Earlier in the year when Mars was in Libra and turned retrograde, the same degrees were affected which makes situations look as though progress is not advancing.  However, Mercury will pull information from that time and bring forward the efforts, creating a pathway to move through the old situations to reach the new environment.  You may even have the chance to bump into people that were prominent during that time.  The issue is that situations have progressed and you have moved beyond the old situations, ready to take action on the new environment.  Late Thursday a new surge of information emerges that takes your creative ideas and begins to put some power behind them, shooting them out of a cannon, ready to land into new situations.  Saturday morning, Moon rises with Jupiter, bringing in a promise of good things to come, as you have had to wait patiently. 

 

 

Dream, September 8-9, 2014

Bff, last night/this morning I had a dream in which myself and other people were boarding what looked like a huge tour bus to travel.  Where we were going ,I do not know, lol, but we were going.

There was a little unorganized mass confusion by the door of the bus, however, even though it seemed like people were pushing to get on the bus, they were very friendly and they were actually playing with each other.  I felt like I wanted to get in on the fun so I did.  I took my luggage and went to where it looked like commotion at the door of the bus and easily squeezed my way passed a few laughing and talking people, climbed up very steep stairs until I got to the real entrance of the bus. 

Looking ahead…this tour bus was super big on the inside but the seats were all crammed together, giving the appearance of what the movies rendition of the seats of a plane after a crash look like.  This also made the interior of the bus appear very small.

There were already  a few older people on the bus, which confirmed my earlier thought that everyone was just having fun outside. 

As I maneuvered through the crammed seat tour bus, I pleasantly smiled at the passengers who were sitting and waiting patiently for everyone else to board.

I did not get too far on the bus before I decided to put my bags down and leave the bus to go someplace for something.  

Bff....I could shot myself because I can not remember what I left the bus for....however, I do remember that fact that I had a limited amount of time to come go and come back.....the bus would leave anyone....no exceptions.

So....I left. If I recall correctly,  I was with someone....I just can't remember who...…..

Bff.....I can't even remember where I was going and what I needed to get. All I know is during the dream I felt I had to go and get whatever it was for the trip to "CONSCIOUSNESS KNOWS WHERE".   Hahahaha,  get it? Never mind.

So.....I am on the way to the place to get the thing and I am happy....and I feel complete.  Bff.....not that I am miserable in this reality.....ok yes...I am miserable in this reality lol.  But that is neither here nor there....the fact of the matter is, I had a dream last night/this morning in which I was traveling with people I do not know, to a destination I can't remember. 

I do not remember feeling shy, scared, anxious,  nervous or anything. All I remember about my feelings were they were all upper/light feelings…

FUCK ME Bff....for not voice recording that dream like I did with a dream I had back in April.....A dream about my twin.

Bff.....spirit is with me and I am connected.   Check this out…..

After waking up, I checked my emails because I was expecting an email from my spiritual advisor.  Sidebar: I decided to  get guidance from Chloe, one of the people I reached out to for a Twin Flame reading.   I asked her a few questions to help me deal with this twin flame journey.  She replied and it was most helpful as she gave me guidance, prayers and meditations to help me understand this entire connection with Will and the journey.   Chloe always tells me that my guides want me to stop worrying and release my worries and anxieties to them.  I have been doing just that. Sidebar: I will post all of the reading I got, lol.

I saw the email and kept on pushing so I could leave the house and get to work ontime.  I was going to read it on the train and when I saw it, I had piece of mind to open the attachments and download them on my phone.

I finally make it out of the house but I had no money on me and making a stop to the atm could set me back 15 minutes in my commute…..

Decisions.....yes...I decided to keep going.    At the corner of my block, I reach into my bag and grab my change purse.  I knew I have a few coins but not sure if they add up to the metro fare. I knew I did not have cash on me as I spent what was in my purse yesterday and I did not bring money out of the house. 

Looking through the puses, I decide to open a receipt and  wouldn't you know $11 was folded in that receipt.

Thank you guides, ancestors, orishas, universe, God for always looking after me…..

I made it to work ontime with money in my pocket.

Now......what does that dream mean?

Alpha Life Celestial Trends - September 7 - 13, 2014

September 7th through September 13th

The almost full moon that rises Sunday evening emphasizes the Virgo/Pisces attributes, to bring forward the qualities that emphasize inner and outer balance.  Virgo emphasizes the outer sense to make the right decisions and Pisces emphasizes the inner, intuitive connection with the spiritual sense of following what is right, regardless of the outer voices of reason, society and those who seemingly have outer authority.  This Full Moon at 16 Virgo/16 Pisces requires a strong and deep connection to deal with the waves pushing and pulling situations, bending you one-way and then another.  Sunday evening sees the Full Moon that again arrives on Monday night as well.  The Harvest Moon brings the efforts forward that are now ready for Harvest.  A time that your efforts to build must give way to transition the crops to their next level, with a great amount of round-the-clock effort.  Whether it is corn, apples or grapes for wine, it is Harvest Time.  Business pursuits with ideas and concepts must now be ready to travel down the runway to lift off and go to their next destination as well.   Midweek, Venus brings balance to Neptune’s spiritual blueprint.  Venus brings forward the solutions that have to be put into place to smooth the bumps that occur mid-week.  Finding the solutions becomes the important balance to achieve on Wednesday.  Rolling out the clarifications helps to put all of the pieces in the right places.  Saturday Mercury in Libra is in opposition to Uranus in Aries, which naturally kicks many situations over and seemingly spills out the issues and creates problems.  However, only after all issues are seen for what they are, then the right solution can present itself.  Mars rolls into fiery Sagittarius that comes in, looks at the situation, says it like it is and takes action to get things rolling in the right direction. Mars in Sagittarius is a no-nonsense type of placement.  Direct, to the point, type of actions in order to fix the problem.  Quick, easy and it is done, no frills, no fluff, just what needs to be done.  Mars is in Sagittarius from September 13 through October 26.  The inundation of activity and high level of accomplishments during this time will be stunning.  Looking back it will seem that an incredible amount of ground has been covered.  It is time to rev up and be ready for action. 

Remember My Post "Suntin-To-Think-About"

Bff…lolol…remember my post in 2011 titled, "Suntin To Think About"?  Well if you don't, you can go back and read it again, lol, or you can just keep reading this blog…you know I am "on it!", lol.

Lemme give you a brief summary of that blog…….I was basically asking if I was blocking my blessings by having "non significant encounters and/or relationships", or what I would sometimes also call "superficial" relationships.  No matter how it is put, the question was if I was blocking the chance for me to meet my soul mate by having those type of strictly physical connections.

It took a few years but Bff…..the answer is NO.

NO….I was not blocking anything….not my blessings….not my soul mate……not my true love….nothing.  Not one thing has been blocked….Can you believe that?

Well guess what?  It is true!!!

Everything…I MEAN EVERYTHING in life happens the way it is supposed to happen.  Guess what? Most of the time when things don't go the way we want them to….it is because there is something else or somethings else (ahahahaha) that are meant for you…….not only meant for you but meant for the betterment of you….betterment and all of its pleasures.

Wait a minute…did you just read what I wrote?  BETTERMENT OF YOU AND ALL OF THE PLEASURE YOU GET FROM YOUR BETTERMENT.  Ok, I may not have typed it out exactly like that the first time…..but it is there now for your innerstanding, lol.

Now check this out Bff…….how many times have I expressed this or something like this and still felt like I got the fucking short end of the stick……feeling like I am the one that pulled the shortest straw and now I have to go outside and battle the monsters destroying the Earth!

I have no idea just like you probably don't either, lol….

Well……the full moon is coming so let me be a little quite and see…..maybe I will find out why I feel like this and so much  more….

Hehe!!!

Ohhhh…….That Explains It…..

WOW…….I must say Bff.  For a few minutes, I was….no…it was actually a few seconds before I realized what was really going on.

Let me fill you in on what happened today…..I still have not heard from Higgins.  Part of that is because I did not reach out to him.  Well, he did not reach out to me, but that is no excuse.  I really think he is upset with me.  I am going to wait to see what happens.  Maybe in a month's time I will reach out to him if he does not reach out to me first.  I know…I am running….

My day at work was ok….Nothing major happened.  Basically at work I am fortunate enough to be able to do my work and still have more that half of the day to do as I please as long as I do not excessively use the phone, internet or am away from my desk.  Some days I get wrapped up in reading and doing research on spirituality, metaphysic and the like I only leave my desk long enough to get food and bring it back during my lunch period, lol..  Talk about obsessive/compulsive, hahahaha.
 

So….ok, Bff….when I go to work, I really do not dress up….but ohh how I love dressing up.  I do not wear heels to work or anything I think is dress up clothes.  I actually wear what I consider to be house dresses but others think are dresses that are "so beautiful", lol.  So on Friday, as any other day, I was wearing a house dress to work.  I am a big gurl and this house dress I don't even wear in the house because it is extremely form fitting.  I was running late and wore it anyway.

I consider myself a big gurl, but I am not fat..I know I hold my weight in the right places…..but I also think I could lose a few pounds in certain places.....scratch that....I would transfer the fat from one place to another,  yes I would if I had the money,  lol.

So, I put on the dress and a dead man could see my curves…  All day no one said anything to me….great…….I could make it through the day without anyone coming on to me or anything and that would be a great day for me.  Bff…I wear form fitting clothing to work, but nothing like this….don't get me wrong….I looked very tasteful..but being a full figured West Indian woman with full lips and tattoos all over the place who does not usually wear clothing that actually allows you to see the contour of her ass may be quite shocking…..especially in corporate america, lol.  So check this out…

I am finally going home and I mistakenly jump off of one train to get on the exact same train across the platform….smart real smart, lol…..As I am slowly approaching the new train, this guy stands in my way….I try not go give him the, "Didn't you see me coming from the train across the platform" look as I continued to advance while he backed up.  He started saying something that I could not understand so I asked him to repeat himself.   Bff, this brother was very handsome…..dark skinned, really muscular, had a few tattoos and was well dressed.  That does not make up from the fact that I did not understanding a word that was coming from his mouth.  All of that handsomeness and great adjectives go right out the window.  

He started asking me about my tattoos…I knew this was what he thought was an in, so I answered am many questions as I could understand….Great thing…..he did most of the talking, so I just smiled and nodded.  

Long story short, we exchanged numbers and before I even got to my bus to go home, I get a text from him about how my azz is so big and he wants me to shit on him................What the Fuck?

Ohh so that explains it!!!!

I Just Don't Know

Bff…….I really don't want to type right now, but it has been so long since I have communicated with you. So much has happened.

First off……I must have pissed Higgins something fierce, I have not heard from him in 8 days.  We had this drug/sex episode…..I will have to tell you about it in more detail later……crazy…..some unexpected household issue came up….later that day I saw him and asked him "What is wrong?", I guess that question pissed him off.  He looked at me and said, "Well, if you don't know, blah blah blah!".  Bff, I was there when blah blah blah happened…..I know that is on your mind…..however, I asked him because he was pacing up and down my room, when he usually gets comfy and sits down (he was supposed to stay the night). So…I said, "I know that is the underlying reason that something is wrong, I was there?" I know I said something like, "But I am asking you if something else is wrong?" Must have pissed him off even more and he said to me, lol, "Are you gonna do or say anything to make me feel better?"……………………..I looked at him….he looked at me and said, "I thought so!" and walked away from me…in my room and left, lol.  I chuckled and started to clean up my room, burning on the inside cause I refused to let him get the best of me……am I gonna do or say anything to make him feel better? Are you serious? He did not say…I called him later that night and we spoke for a couple of minutes and he got off of the phone…I have not heard from him since……..however…….I have not reached out either…………..

My Sun………..sighhhhhhhhhh…..

Uhhhhhhh…Bff….right now……I am feeling so freakin tossed…….left behind…….I am not typing this cause I am in the "pity partah" mode……I just wanna get this out…Maybe I will get some message from expressing myself like this…..so Bff, please be patient with me……..and just read with openness….(this ain't easy…)

Huuuuuuuu…..I don't know if this really measures up….I just don't know…..cause right now I am not good……I am so not feeling good right now and I know this is me…..this is all me…5…….FIVE……readings and 4 came back………3 of those confirmed what I know…..even if they didn't…….I would still feel the same…….but even more than that…….I sit here with tears running down my face because the pain is stronger than before………the choices made………..the things unsaid…….the cries I try to suppress…….I fail in every way………I stare at you because I wanna remember…….so when this storm comes round I have a post to hold on to…….the winds are so fierce…..the rain so heavy………

Why do I feel like this……….lost and confused…….misplaced and…….please come to me tonight…..when you sleep……I just wanna see you…….touch you……kiss you………the pull is so strong………as I sit here….. I can't stop crying…...

Alpha Life Celestial Trends - September 2014 Overview

Celestial Trends - September 2014

September 2014 Overview

September is universally a SEVEN* month (in numerology terms), which shifts your thoughts, concepts and beliefs from the influence of the outer world to the inner elements of your connection with the Divine.  The events of September point to the shifts and changes that occurred earlier in the year, especially as major delays (from Mars retrograde in Libra) with twists and turns kept situations from moving forward in a logical way.  The shift of Jupiter from Cancer into fiery Leo created the spark to ignite the major changes that were already happening, albeit in slow motion.  Since mid July, the pace has activated the avalanche of options and opportunities to move into your new life.  August unfolded and moved situations even further along the way.  The month of September typically become a time of review for the year.  However, because of all the delays, the typical review will be checking off the box and jumping into the next situation. Major evolution of events will continue all through September in preparation for the Solar and Lunar Eclipse in October which parallels a Mercury retrograde in Libra and the first few degrees of Scorpio.  The events from mid-September on become the pathway of situations that will later shift and change as Mercury retrogrades back into key scenarios.  This guarantees that the last half of September will have all sorts of situations flying into your life and pulling you in one direction and then into another, not really knowing what you want to do, but giving you many options.  Ultimately, September becomes the runway that will launch you into a completely new life as October’s Solar and Lunar Eclipses signal that it is now time to lift off and the new reality is the destination.

The highlights of September circle around the heightened aspect of Mercury in Libra, which began September 1.  It not only reflects the shifts during the first seven months of this year while Mars was in Libra, but also the fact that Mercury will reach the important point of 16 Libra on September 15.    Mercury, once retrograde (beginning October 4), will aim back to this point of 16 Libra, reaching back through the retrograde on October 25 before turning direct.  The events from Mercury’s focus of 16 Libra, have a high level of importance in your life, especially as the Full Moon / Lunar Eclipse in October sparks heightened realizations that are carried at the same 16 Libra vibration.  This turning point begins major choices, as with the Full Moon of Sun opposition Moon, Uranus next to the Moon creates the emotional challenges to open the door for greater self-understanding.  Pulling up the high tide of information begins as this all-important point of 16 Libra is reached in mid-September.  The new reality that is moving into place begins at this time, revealing the reality of your new life.

Alpha Life Trends Celestial Trends - August 31 through September 6th

August 31st through September 6th

Sunday brings Moon to connect with Saturn, to remind you of the commitment to your new direction that is pulling you into unfamiliar territory.  September begins the review of the SEVEN year, as September is a universal SEVEN month.  Looking at all that has transpired becomes a dizzying effect with so many events and happenings.  The Mars retrograde that took over the first seven months of the year kept so many situations in a delayed pattern.  Once Mars turned direct situations could begin to open new doors in preparation for a new life.  With Jupiter moving into Leo a new spark ignited the new pathway lighting the way with creative ideas and optimism.  Finally underway, September will be adding to more of the year than the usual review that occurs in the month.  September 1 Mercury moves into Libra as if to unfold the assessment of situations that occurred while Mars was going back and forth with uncertainty and instability.  Many decisions will come into play as September begins.  New goals and plans are revealed.  These new goals and plans have an impact on the contracts, pacts, treaties and agreements that were put into place while Mars was finishing it’s time in Libra, which will now begin to be revised.  Friday begins the meetings to make the important shifts and changes that are the next step in the process to move forward.     

 

Confusion

Bff......................I want you to see that this is real.....that I am not a figment of your imagination.......my writing is not just something I am making up..................not just something that is make believe................

All of the things that I write about...I actually experience.  I may not be able to express the events in the exact way they happened.  Just know that I am expressing things as how I feel them, how I see them, how they affect me........I'm not saying that my view or feelings are right or wrong........all I am saying is that THEY ARE MINE!!!

Now, I am so fucking confused...............I wanted to know............I wanted answers...........All of my wanting led me to a world of total confusion............

Bff...........I can't seem to keep things from certain people......You being one of them.  I told Will about the readings.....I guess it is confession time for me.........I ended up ordering 4 readings from 4 different "experts" on the Flame subject.......to date.........I received 3 back.  One.....said we were from the same tribe...........the other two said we were twins...........

Ok Bff........I already knew he is my twin..........but what is shaking me up is all of the other things that the other two readings had in it.....Lemme clarify for you. 

Bff.........what the two readings told me was what ever other reading I ever got told me, "Continue on the spiritual path you are on", "Spirit, Heaven and your family are all watching over you, protecting you." Bff, there is more that the reading said, but I just wanted to give you the jest of what EVERY reading told me, even the last 2 I got which were about Twin Flames.......which adds to my confusion......

Adds to my heaviness.....just adds to everything..............

I was stuck in the Twilight Zone........kind of still am there now....I just can't seem to grasp my brain around the fact that everything...........EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT MYSELF IS TRUE...................

Not only that..........Bff..............this sheds light on why I feel so intensely..........why I feel so empty with distance..........why I feel directly connected when you are close..........that is just the tip of the iceberg.........

Bff........after I told him.............told him about what I knew..............I thought I would feel relief........but what I actually felt was shock..........disbelief.............and a little bit of a defense........

I am confused..........My soul does not lie..............Spirit does not lie..............Energy does not lie...............

Bff.............I am going to write from Spirit now...........please don't leave me....

I just need to get this out cause I don't want to hold it any longer....
As I type this...I look through teary eyes.....fighting with my Spirit............
We have come so far.................to feel as if we are being pushed down
Down farther than before........in the dark pit................hungry..........scared..........cold and afraid...
Looking up and seeing people just walk by..............as if the hole they are walking over does not exist
That is exactly how I feel..........non existent........lol.........
Sitting here........trying not to type how I really feel
Tossed away..............left overs, lol..............
I just smile............and giggle............for now..............
When I am alone...........I will release the floodgates of my soul
I pray that the waters will wash my pain away..........
This longing that I feel..................does not seem to cease............
When you look in my eyes..............what do you really see..........
Can you feel me right now reaching out to you?
Ohhh Lawd God, Fadda Up in Heaven please help me deal with this eternal pain..........
Cause the few moments you have given me are not enough.........
I am not desperate..........I am not crazy.............
Nor am I obsessed..................I am connected..............forever..........eternally........
I am not running.............I stand strong................
However, I need you..............not just the physical..............we need each other.................
Sometimes I think I am crazy...............saying the same thing to you over and over........
Feeling the same feeling more intensely each time.......
Dying over and over again.........as you smile in the background..............
I wish I could be more like you.............putting my focus on other things............
I can't help but to feel..........so intensely................so deeply........................
You know we are connected...................in a way that can not be explained................
My soul is heavy...................I need you.............Will you ever innerstand?

Bff, I wonder why I even bother to do anything anymore.............I really wish I could explain and express the way I feel without sounding so crazy............I just want my beautiful compliment..............you know what? Fuck it..............................

So fucking confused....................just forget you ever read this post!!!

Something Is Brewing Again...........LOL

Bff, lol..............Ok........this is really not funny..........not at all.

Well, mmmmm..........it is not funny in the "haha" joke funny........Bff, what is brewing is more along the lines of "ahhhhhh haaaaaaaa", "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....sssshhhhiiittttt" type funny, you know what I mean.

If you recall.........I wrote a blog with a similar title in the past.  It was basically saying, in my convoluted style of writing, that I was open to frequencies and I could feel that something or some event (possibly some information or someone) was coming my way.  Sure enough, what ever was brewing did make it my way, lol and guess what?  I survived, lolol.

But Bff, this time, not only is something brewing BUT...............what ever it is..................I think is gonna really put a crazy twist on things...............

What am I talking about? Are you asking yourself that question, Bff?  No worries........you know I will fill you in........................

 

 

Ok, ok sorry.....I just absolutely love Craig David........hehe

 

 

So..............August 25, 2014 we will experience a New Moon...........this is the time of new opportunities, new goals, new newness, all things new, lol.  Yah.............Great right? hmmmmm

 

Read this forecast from Alpha Life Trends and I will point out some things in the forecast that relate to the "BREWIING" I am feelings, lol.

 

"August 17th through August 23rd This week begins with Venus connecting to Jupiter, bringing forward the hope and optimism to share with Jupiter’s enthusiasm. This aspect connecting at 7 Leo sets the pace as the Leo creativity, self expression and imagination opens the door to give you an opportunity to utilize your natural talents in ways you never thought of before. Mercury connects with Neptune as information is integrated into your spiritual blueprints, shifting situations and circumstances. Using your new focus, you will begin to make different choices, emphasizing the changes that point you into the crossroads, moving from one emphasis to another. As information comes streaming into the week, there will continue to be significant changes, veering you forward into your right direction. Saturday brings Moon connecting with both Venus and Jupiter, giving you the vision of things to come, opening up the curtains to allow you to see all that will be unfolding as you walk forward."

 

Ok Bff, calm down.  You may not know or care about this stuff, but just sit back and continue to read....I am gonna bring all of it together, I promise, lolol.

 

Mercury is the planet of communication, travel, it represents coordination, thought processes, ideas, and sensory information from both unconscious and unconscious sources all need to be coordinated and understood. Mercury analyzes, sorts, groups, and makes sense of things.

 

Neptune is the ruling planet of Pisces (Me, I am Pisces, hehe).

 

Bff, reread the part of the forecast that I put in bold............................

 

Get it?

 

OMG.....this shit is so fucking true.............

 

This week, Bff, I did somethings........I really wanted to find out..............I know what the truth is........remember............I know who I am and what I am............I know my feelings....my emotions....my soul does not lie.....................I just wanted outside confirmation (I am still so fucking condition, lol) to solidify what my soul has been telling me.  So I did it Bff, I reach out to more than one and I got one answer..........................and you got it right........

 

Hold on to your fucking undies...................What my soul feels is so fucking correct..................I am in denial right now about it.............that is the reason I am so calm.............I knew it, I fuckin knew it when I started doing research and readin.........

 

Ok sorry Bff, so yah.....I wanted to find out if what I felt, what my soul was telling me was true.  What better way to find out than to go to someone else right? lolol.  I repeat, I went to outside sources for their take and expertise on what my soul was feeling and so far.............my soul is correct........or should I say......the "experts" corroborated what the Source and my soul already told me.

 

I got the information, I got the answer, I got the confirmation.....................Using my new focus (acceptance of what my soul was telling me to be the truth of my situation and the corroboration of outside experts on the subject) I will beginning to make different choices emphasising the the changes (the changes are acceptance of the connection, ohh did I give it away, lol) that point me into the crossroads (whether or not I should share what I did and the results; or whether I should stay focused, knowing that my growth enhances your growth (fuck....I really want to continue to write in codes until I get more information, lol)), moving from one emphasis to another.  

 

Mercury brought me this information............Bff, and this fucking information is all about my spiritual blueprint.  This information will certainly shift my situations and circumstances, lol (no this shit is so not funny lol!)..............

 

Now this is the thing.............Bff...........October will bring the Total Full Moon Lunar Eclipse during the Mercury Retrograde......so basically.............during this energy................and let me be very clear....

 

INFORMATION WILL COME, QUESTIONS ANSWERED, ABLE TO VIEW THINGS AS A WHOLE.....(Full moon)

 

SOMETHING WILL BE HIDDEN OR BLOCK YOUR COMPLETE VIEW OF THINGS.......(Eclipse)

 

THIS IS THE TIME TO "RE" EVERYTHING...RETHINK...REVIEW....RESEARCH.....REDO....REVAMP....RE WHATEVER TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH.............(Mercury Retrograde)

 

How fucking wonderfully chaotically confusing is this October gonna be? LOLOL........

 

Bff..............this don't make now sense.

 

Bff...lemme stop fucking with you and just come right out.....cause I hate when people talk in codes to me.

 

I reached out to a few spiritual advisers for readings.....................Non Yoruban advisers, lol....

I wanted to know about my twin...............I got my answer..............so now I am in fucking the twilight zone.....in a fucking daze..................It all makes sense to me now........HOWEVER...............

 

If I give the information I received to my "twin"..........................

 

Fuck me Bff...........I spilled the fucking beans.............................Ok............if I don't post for a while, it is because I am going into my dark place....I need some time..............I really don't feel well.

 

 



Random Thoughts August 20, 2014

Bff..........been feeling things...................having head aches.............

I have never felt as open as I felt when I was around you..............

Doing research trying to get a better understanding.
I know that I know the truth...........outside confirmation is a programed form of ego confirmation.
It is easier to beLIEve others............much more difficult to go inside and believe what you feel.......

Chest is hurting............please work on your chakras..........I do not expect you to trust what I say.......or how I say I feel......or even what I tell you I am experiencing...I know what I am feeling..........hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Bff.......I have to get back to work......I had to let this out..............

Would it be so terrible?

What is the fucking deal with you? My chest hurts....................what do you feel?

Hmmmm

So Bff….I sat and waited for a response and just when I gave up………….there it was…………

However, while I was waiting……..longing……………dying……………I did some reading on Soul Mates and Twin Flames and this is what I learned:

"Although there are many soul mates you will encounter throughout your life which will resemble the twinflame dynamic, there is only one twin flame. Yet the energetic twinflame dynamic can be present in any loving and healthy spiritual relationship. Any relationship has twinflame potential. But keep in mind that the experiences and signs of a twin flame relationship are never one-sided. 

If you are feeling that someone could be your twin flame but they do not feel the same way then this could be simply an indication of a soulmate relationship. These are still very important relationships that usually involve karma needing to be resolved or lessons to be learned and may be short term or long term. Soulmate relationships often prepare us for the Twinflame connection, whether its meant to occur in the physical or not. 

The twinflame love is not a dependant, selfish, obsessive love. Nor is its sole purpose to be a completely romantic or sexual love. The twinflame connection feels natural and the feelings are mutual, although often a twinflame partner can be unaware on one level or unprepared for the intensity of the connection and the relationship may have issues if the timing is not right or if one partner is not ready. If this is the case then you must let go and let God--let it be what it is for now. 

You are always connected to one another on a soul level no matter what the circumstance may be, and often the timing is not right if there is still much individual inner work that needs to be done. If this is truly your twinflame, a complete reunion will occur when the soul is ready to re-unite and there is nothing that can be done to force this dynamic to occur. Unconditional love and acceptance is at the heart and foundation of a true twinfame connection."  http://www.twinflamesoulmates.com/a-bond-beyond-the-physical.html

Ok Bff……………….. text convo……….both reading on Soul Mates and Twin Flames...…..exchanging sites………questions…….questions……………...………then a sudden………..HAULT……no response………and it is hours…………..ummmmmmmmmm…can anyone say "STAYER"? LOLOL.

Bff…… I am tired……I just came from dance class……..sweat until my green thongs were soaking wet……….I am hungry……….I wanna  keep reading and doing research (NO not on soul mates or twin flames, Bff…..fuck you!!!, lol)……..I wanna write……I wanna vlog……..I want answers to my questions….

After reading the above and so much more…..Bff…..I am convinced that this connection could possibly be a Twin Flame connection………….hmmmmmmmm…….What do you think?

(Bff…..I am exhausted…………..super cooked…………..I surrender…………)

Random Thoughts..........Soul Mates/Twin Flames?

Bff........I am connected to all.....we are connected to all but at time, Bff, I feel disconnected....
At times I feel like if I don't put a label on what I know or what I feel..........then it is not real.......I pray..........Please Ancestors............Orishas, Spirit, Ultimate Create, Source please assist me in learning how not to be and feel so fleshy....please help me to be in this dense heavy world but not be of it as much as I am...I am in pain.........I am hurt.......I am fleshy...............and I do not want to be any longer...........I want to be one with Source............ONE WITH SOURCE (Bff, get me?)

Today........yesterday........everyday.......I think of you...........every day..........I don't want to...........
I can't help it........I wanna vlog this so you can see me........see my energy.........feel what you mean to me.

I reached out and got no response..........feeling left.............like the attention I get only comes when you are not getting what you want from who you are with...................this shit is crazy.......I walked right into it........I ain't blaming you.............I'm just sayin, Bff..............I'm just sayin............

This fucking battle started again........for the invisible throne.........to rule my kingdom..............I know spirit will win...............should I have given in?  DO YOU REMEMBER ME? DO YOU KNOW I AM HERE...........DO YOU EVEN CARE?

How do you think I feel when I reach out to you and you reply hours later?.........days later?............not even paying attention to me.....not replying to to message sent to you........but instead........when you do reply..........its as if for the first time.................

Ok.......no problem............Bff, check this out...........spirit is ALWAYS speaking to me ALWAYS!!!

As I sat in my sorrow, wondering when and if I would ever get a reply (Bff, I sent a text saying: "I want you badly".........no reply.............stay with me.............) I started to do research on esoteric colleges, I am going to get my doctrine in esoteric studies.  Yes.....I will be Dr. Juicah soon........act accordingly! haha.....

So yaa, Bff.....I was doing some research on this one site.  As I was reading the home page, a "Recommendations For You" window popped up at the bottom of the site.  Bff, the site recommended that I view a blog on "Soul Mates who Run, Soul Mates who Stay" and this is what the blog said:

The Soul Mates connection is based on energy, a compatible energy force that takes it cues from each mates vibration output. The quicker we as Soul Mates come to this level of understanding, the sooner we will stop suffering, manipulating and focusing our attention on our soul’s purpose.

The soul mate connection is a Higher level of energy. An energy that most of us are not accustom to working with. It is an extremely powerful connection, especially in the case of Twin Flames, soul mates of the highest order. Most time when we enter this energy, we are still carrying low vibrational beliefs, emotional patterns and behaviors that will serious disrupt the flow of the energy, a ‘fail safety mechanism’ has been incorporated within our bond. This fail safe mechanism is simply a vibrational compatibility connection. This vibrational connection keeps both mates safe from truly damaging the connection with our ignorance and indifference to the sacredness of this gift. This connection works like a puzzle. If the pieces don’t match up, then the puzzle cannot come together as a full picture. The same with this mechanism, if the vibrational energies do not line us, then the mates will be kept apart until the work has been done.

I really wanted to speak on the topic of mates who run, and mates who stay, because it is a concept that mates have a very hard time understanding. To define a ‘stayer’ and a ‘runner’ is simply, one or both mates that run from the connection, and the stayer is the one who is supposedly left or forgotten about. This pattern is not only common, it’s a natural phenomenon, and it’s a rarity to have a pair that immediately accept the energy and understand how to work through the energies intensity right away. So if you are experiencing this in your connection, the last thing you need to be is ashamed or guilty, okay.

The Runner

As I had mentioned in previous articles, the soul mate energy is intense, and it’ sole purpose is to purify the energies within each mate so that we can reach a level of understanding of how to function from the Highest place in love and trust in all of our relationship, and in turn, the mates will become exemplifiers for others to emulate. This goal cannot be reached if we as mates are vibrating from a level of fear. As mates, we have reached a level of spiritual maturity where we have the ability to hold more and more spiritual light. Make no mistake, each mate, no matter what it looks like, have earned this ‘status’, if you will. So, Keesha, you may ask, why does my mate do everything in his or her power to keep me at arm’s length? That’s not spiritual maturity, Keesha?” And you are correct!

In this connection, each of the mates are challenged to address both their individual shortcomings and once they come together, they will learn to work as a unit to flow in greater love. There is a common theme among most runners and these are dealing with issues of the feelings of worthlessness, trust and sometimes addiction. It’s not that the runner does not feel the intensity of love for their mates, in their mid, they believe that they are not ‘ready’ or do not have what it takes to be a viable partner to their mates. So it’s not really their mate that is causing them to run, no, actually most runners have safely placed their mates way up on the ‘untouchable’ pedestal; it’s that they do not trust and love themselves enough.

The runner’s challenge is to take steps in understanding how to love and value themselves. They have to learn to change and release the pain from past relationships and learn to trust and improve their relationship with their non-physical guides. Most runners are capable of achieving this, but oftentimes, it’s the ‘stayer’ that stands in the way.

The Stayer

In my practice, I work with mainly stayers, for obvious reasons. In the stayer’s mind, they are the one left holding the bag, if you will. They believe they are the ones who know exactly what their mate needs to do to get their shit together so that they can carry on with their love fest. When I work with stayers, I often find that they are carrying this unconscious victim mentality. They come across as confident and strong, but when we work in a session, we usually uncover issues of abandonment and trust. We find that their mate’s running, triggers those abandonment issues, issues that they have pushed down years prior to meeting ‘the one’. This triggering of the abandonment issues, sort of compels the stayer to become forceful, manipulative and mistrusting in their dealing with their mate.

Because those who act out the loudest get the most attention, the stayer begins to make it their mission to ‘make’ their mates see the light. They are missing the whole point of the connection. They are not focusing on their own every painful issue that most definitely need to be addressed before anything can happen. Once the stayer begins to work on their own issues, they will be better able to forgive their mates for their irradiate and painful behavior and trust the process of their connection taking form. Until they do, they will continue to grasp at straw in frustration, and become further estranged from the one they love dearly.

In these connections, both the stayer and the runner have psychic and healing abilities, but they cannot be fully tapped into because each mate is either running or acting from an unconscious desperation. Both mates can ease their suffering from this beautiful connection by learning to face their individual fears, and trust the process. Also, do not think you can ‘fool’ this energy into believing you are ready for the coming together, this is an energetic connection, so if the energies don’t fit, you must admit, then acquit!

For the ‘stayers’ there is much work that needs to be done on your part before the reunion with your mate can take place. Remember, the reason why you and your mate are not together is because both of your energies are repelling each other, bot of you still have yet to be in vibrational alignment to receive one another

It is key that as you are in the ‘stayer’ mode, that you not sit around pining for your mates swift return, you must accept that there really is nothing that you can do on the physical realm to bring them back to you swiftly, this process is out of your control. So we must focus on the areas of our lives that we do have control over, areas in our lives that we have been neglecting.

As we are moving with the flow of unconditional love, high spiritual principles and personal responsibility, we are setting a foundation for relationships that promote interdependence and equality within relationship formats. Most of us have not learned how to function interdependently in any type of relationship. We may be accustomed to placing ourselves in either a dominate or subordinate position. With both of these positions being unbalanced and distorted. both positions prevents us the opportunity to be truly empowered, both positions seduces us into a false sense of security. But in truth, we are not secure giving up our personal power for the sake of comfort in a relationship.

This pattern within you must be faced and eliminated before you can reunite with your mate, or you will continuously clash with each other. Some of the areas that you can begin to address or improve:

Your Emotional Well Being: Its always wise to challenge yourself to continuously grow on the emotional level. There are good self help and spiritual growth books out here that you can choose from , there are also spiritually based support groups that can give you the continuous feedback about your development. If you find that the process is so difficult with these methods alone, I strongly advise you to seek out professional help.

Your Financial Responsibilities: How do you handle your finances? What is your financial pattern while in relationships? Do you have a standoffish approach to finances in your relationships in the past and in the present? Do you manipulate people to get money or to take up some of your financial responsibilities?

We are no longer dependent children that can take a carefree approach to getting our needs met, specially financially. When we are weak, irresponsible and neglectful in our financial life, we knowingly and unknowingly place ourselves in a position of dependence, therefore heightening our potential to be a victim. Focusing our energy in organizing our finances is extremely important. Its important for you to handle whatever amount of income that you do receive responsibly, so that the Law of Attraction can work on your behalf to supply you with more money or opportunities to receive more.

Your Physical Well Being: How is your health? Are you doing all that you can to be in optimal health? Are you taking preventative measures to avoid a health crisis? How do you feel about your body or the way you look? Being proactive in our health and self image is also very important. The way we feel and the way we feel about the way we look does determine the level of intimacy in our relationships with ourselves and our mates. So address these issues the best that you can. Write a plan out on paper of your goals, get the appropriate support you need o encourage you through the process and take it all one step at a time, one goal at a time.

Your Spirituality: Continue to make getting in touch with your higher self and higher purpose a daily part of your routine. Learn to listen to your intuitive voice, learn to make courage steps toward your own well being, get out in nature more, and set yourself.ek out a variety of ways to express your creativity. This is a spiritual union, and you must stay focused on your spiritual growth in order to keep the life and health of yourself and your connection with your mate, so it’s best to solidify a routine now that you have this time.

Your time of separation does not have to be filled with pain and suffering; you can take back your personal power and improve your life to the best of your ability. You can become the best person, the best mate you can be by focusing on ways to bring to the connection all of your access.

As an intuitive spiritual life coach, I am free to support you. If you need further assistance, please feel free to schedule a private intuitive consultation with me, so that we can get you started in strengthening up the structures of your life.

In Conclusion

The soul mate connection is indeed a beautiful gift, and has an important purpose, but it’s energy automatically repels lower vibrational thoughts and behaviors from the bond. Bothe runner and the stayer are challenged to address their fears, discover and embrace their strength in order for this connection to properly come together in its own form. Keep doing the work, and trusting that all really is well, I love you all.

Bff, I know that was alot to read, but it is very interesting............and to add to that........Spirit brought this information to me...........for a reason.

This is my deduction of why:   I want to better understand, overstand, inner and outer, extra, intra, overtra....you name is I wanna do it so that I can work more readily with my energy and other energies..........so that I will be able to peacefully manuver throught the waves of this life..........I want to understand the connection I have with Will..............I pray.......constantly......for clarity.............Spirit always answers me........always...............

In my Juicah inner self pity, lol, Bff....this makes sense to me................it makes so much fucking sense. 

Now, that is not say that this message makes everything so much better and I no longer have this longing feeling...........I may not give you all the info but I do not lie and I won't start now.  No, I still feel left out........left behind..........thrown away like waste, chucked in the back a box in the basement until you get bored..........need I go on? lol  I'm human and I don't care what anyone says......I know if the shoe were on the other foot you would feel the same way I do..........you might now admit it, express it or show it, but I have to.  This information does not add to my happy feelings...........but it does shed light on what may be happening on the other end.............it may give an explanation as to the type of connection we share............it just makes sense..........it feels like this is what we are........

You see Bff, people are very strange......very very strange............we live life for others............pretending to live our life for ourselves...........making decisions and acting to fit in.........playing the "social" acceptance game, lolol and sometimes trying to cheat at the game (wink!!! Figure it out, ask me if you like, I am more than happy to let you know what I am talking about, lol)

There are very rare moments when we can be true to and with ourselves, and even fewer where we can and will be true with others............

There are rare moments when you meet a soul and they vibrate with yours.............time passes...........still vibrating together...............things happen.............still vibrating together strong...........we grow up..................still vibrating together stronger..............................

There are so many "truths" to this situation in my life............so many rare moments I have had with myself...........writing this blog and living...............It aint easy.......but it brings about a pure sense of peace..........

And still I check my phone to see if you responded, lol (I am the Stayer)Even if and when I break down and cry.............(because NOW, I often do.........I just wanna touch and kiss you)............

If this information is true.......................when are we going to get our shit together? lol..

I love you...........life is grand!

Sidebar #2.........Right Timing

Bff...........we continue with our Sidebars, lolol.

This is crazy..........Ok....just a reminder...I did not fill you in on what happened in July yet...I think I am going to do a vlog for that because it is a bit much to type out and I really want to make sure that you feel me....got me? Good haha

So...Bff, check out Sidebar #2: "Right timing is another big theme this month and there will be many lessons around trusting right timing as a means to effortless action. (Sidebar #2) "







Bff........let's go back........let me remind you of the following points:

I.      Will and I communicate in April
II.     Will and I meet and shared a kiss
III.    Will and I continue to communicate into June and meet
IV.    Will and I discuss meeting in July (last week)
V.     Higgins' bday is in the last week of July
VI.    Juicah (I) was nervous and was trying to figure out how to escape Higgins on his bday and see
         Will
VII.   Making excuses and praying that Higgins will have to work on his bday, lol so I can see Will

The above quote was so on point I almost lost it.....

For the majority of July....I was trying to figure out how to get out of seein Higgins so that I could spend more time with Will. 

Bff........in no way shape or form did I feel (or do I now) feel badly about Will's current life situation or Higgins.  I don't..........and I don't feel badly because I know that it is more than sex between Will and I.  My soul, my writing, my flesh, my memories, my emotions, my thoughts, my ego and even my heart have very difficult times with this fact.....Why? Why Bff, it is simple but complicated.  LOL.....Osho......knows the truth, lol....

Straight talk Bff, I don't feel badly because (this part is hard for me to admit) even though Will decided to live his life with another........there are some connections that are so strong, so deep, so true, so real, so pure, so spiritual........that no title, no distance, nothing can or will break them...........nothing can or will diminish them.  In my case..........I have this connection with Will......I say this with all the love I have in my soul...........Bff, I do not expect you to understand........I don't expect anyone to understand...........I don't even understand, lolol..........All I know is that the energy that connects he and I together.................is real..............(just gotta find out what it is and what it means)

I worried about how to maximize time with Will......until I gave up...........and when I did..........Bff, the Universal energy worked that shit out and I had no problem, issue or question about anything....

I surrendered to the Universe and allowed it's infinite wisdom to guide me......I fell back and peacefully floated on the Universal ocean of energy for that week and it was pure liberation.........I had an overwhelming sense that everything would work out the way it was supposed to work out (even if things did not go as I would have liked them to go).

Lesson well learned to trust in the Universe..............trust that the Universe will bring me what I need........all a the Right Time!!!

Hidden..................Message from Source

Bff……..I am trying…..trying my hardest to stay connected……….sometimes I just wanna give up……….

I feel like I am the only one trying……..I could be wrong……..I’m just writing this out in hopes to sort it out.

Bff……….I feel like I am a second thought…….a fall back…..lol…….a backup…..hmmmmmmm…..my spirit is strong……..but if just does not want to fight……my egoic thoughts and feelings take control………doubtful….pitiful…….that is not who I am……..I just can’t seem to understand which step was the wrong one on my path………

I was never like this……..no question of my worth…….ha……..Are you kidding me?  Where did I lose track? 

Your words keep repeating…………..like a record skipping……….constantly brainwashing me…….sweetly trying to convince me…………that there is more to it than I see…………my love the mask is killing me…..

Ok I know we said some things……..shared some of our non spoken thoughts………

Wait before I go any further………..something just happened…

I was about to Juichily poetically express what I have been feeling since the last time Will and I touched……..the last time we were one………..the last time our souls made love……..the last time I had Will’s sweetest kiss……….yah……….then we got back to reality……….He went back to his family……….I went back to????????????? Yaa Bff…get what I’m saying?  (No it was not going to be a Juicah pity partah, lol)…….

Ohh ya, so, Bff….I was just about to express what I have been feeling and experiencing and then I got a phone call from……..Source……..yes…Bff…..stay with me and let me explain……….cause at this point……..it is no game….

You see……..or maybe you don’t at the moment, but will very shortly.

I have always made an issue of making decisions………always been indecisive about all of the wrong things….lol.  I did, however, decide that I needed extra guidance in accepting…..owning……….allowing…………releasing………..resting…………in the facts of certain aspects of my life.  Need I mention what I am talking about out right?  Well, guess what? I don’t have a problem doing just that, lol. 

I am still having an issue with the decision that Will made for his life.  Bff…..let me make it clear……Will made a decision he felt was the best for his life!!! No matter how I express my thoughts, feelings, perception or what every…..Understand that I know…it is his life, not mine!!! (but that don’t mean that I gotta like it, lol.  I’m just saying, shit!!, lol)………I still wonder why he did not want to marry me?  He and I had a conversation about this very recently and we both admitted that it would not have worked (I would have destroyed him, lolol.. ahahah..No…it’s a bit difficult to explain, but I am sure I will one day, wink)…….but part of me still thinks that that was just some bull shit………part of me thinks…………….fuck it….What difference does it really make what I think at this point?  The only difference it makes is to me………..hmmm and Bff…..let’s be real…….if it made that much of a difference……….ohh forget it………

So……….I needed help and went to Source…….was laughed at with love……..and I cried a bunch……

Told me what I already knew……..it was clear to me………flesh feeds on feelings………you read my blogs……..I know you see………(lolol….ahahaha. Shit, If I can’t laugh at myself…then there is a huge problem)

When I began writing this……….I was feeling low…….and then Source contacted me……….and reminded my soul……….

To always be present……….observing and true………..but also don’t let others drain light from you…

Not in those exact words……it was in a code……..but when your connected……….Source always knows your load……

That simple phone call…….Source on the other end…….always reminding me…….forever my friend…

Suddenly snapping me out of the fog…….”Mum, I just woke up…….I’m about to clean up after the dog”…..

In the words that were said………the message is not clear………but Source has a way………..of setting you straight my dear….

You may still not understand……. the fog is gone and I can see…………..the message Source is giving to me…

Bff…….if you only knew………the many ways Source comes to you….

Haha………….I am loving this……………..

Sun (my son) and Source………thank you for reminding me!
Bff........stay with me.........this is gonna get fucking crazy...............